Becoming a parent for the first time is one of the most beautiful—and overwhelming—experiences in life. As a mom of two and a newborn photographer, I’ve had a front-row seat to those early days more times than I can count, both in my own home and in the homes (and hearts) of the families I photograph. Looking back, there are so many things I wish someone had told me before I brought my first baby home. Not just the practical stuff, but the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it, too.
Here are 10 honest things I wish I knew—shared in the hopes that they’ll bring you a little comfort, reassurance, and maybe even a head start on navigating this wild and wonderful new chapter.
No one really prepares you for how surreal and exhausting those first days are. You’ll be sleep-deprived, emotional, and completely in love. And you might not remember much of it later (hello, baby brain). That’s why I believe in documenting it—because even if it’s a blur, it’s a beautiful one. Also, because I know how fast it flies by, I never require any newborn client to come within the first two weeks. Sooner is typically better than later, but every family and their needs are different – don’t be afraid to reach out and tell me what’s going on.
The intensity of love you feel might catch you off guard. It’s overwhelming in the best way—and sometimes, in a scary way too. I recall having huge feelings about my first born being across the room from me, like that was too far away considering I’d literally held him for the past 10 months. That tiny baby is your whole heart wrapped in a swaddle. And they somehow love you just as fiercely, even when you’re running on two hours of sleep.
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and there’s no “right” way to do it. You’ll second-guess yourself constantly—but trust me, you’re doing better than you think. Your baby doesn’t need perfection. They just need you, and being hard on yourself isn’t going to help anyone. We all come to parenting with different life experiences and that can vastly change how we do it – but instead of falling into despair about not knowing what to do, talk to people who you trust and you’ll learn and grow right along with your baby.
Physically, emotionally, mentally—this isn’t about “getting your body back” or “being who you were before.” You’ve just created life. You’re becoming something new and powerful. Give yourself time and grace to grow into that. There is much too much focus on getting back into those pre-pregnancy jeans or back on your workout plan. Sure, making time to do the things you love that are valuable to you is important, but you will never be the same person – birth is transformative in all the ways.
Whether you breastfeed, bottle-feed, or a mix of both, there will be challenges. Leaks, latches, schedules, and growth spurts. Try not to stress about doing it “right.” Fed is best. Loved is best. You’ve got this. I personally struggled the first time I gave my daughter formula. I had breastfed my son exclusively – even through pregnancy – so it made no sense to me why it wasn’t working for my daughter, who hadn’t wet a diaper in over 24 hours. Turns out she just needed a kick start then she loved mama milk just as much as my son. The guilt I let myself feel was probably a hinderance to the whole process more than anything.
Ask for help. Accept it when it’s offered. Whether it’s someone bringing you dinner, folding your laundry, or just holding the baby so you can shower—take it. You weren’t meant to do this alone. It’s often hard to ask for help or even know what you need – and when you have a unicorn of a friend who just gets it, that’s awesome – but may people don’t know what to do for you either so it’s ok to ask! Trust me, your friends and family WANT to help.
Bringing a baby home changes everything, including your partnership. There might be tension, miscommunication, or distance—but there’s also the chance to deepen your bond and learn to be a team in a new way. Be gentle with each other. Sleepless nights, work schedules, and new challenges all add to the stress on your relationship. If you can carve out time to check in each day, that can make a huge difference.
Postpartum hormones are no joke. If you’re feeling sad, anxious, or unlike yourself, please don’t brush it off. Talk to someone. Get help. You deserve to feel well and supported. Taking care of your mental health is taking care of your baby. Becoming a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world and yet there is no training, no framework, and often little support where it is needed most. That can cause huge amounts of stress which can wreak havoc on the mind and body. These days mental health care is more and more accessible with many therapists offering Zoom meetings – be at home, bring your baby, whatever you need to do – because talking to someone outside your relationship can be huge.
Laundry piles, dishes in the sink, baby gear everywhere. Let it go. A messy house means a full life. If you can, embrace the “10-minute tidy” (my favorite hack!), but don’t stress if things don’t look perfect. You’re raising a human—not curating a Pinterest board. Personally, I love when I get to photograph inside what I call a “real home” – capturing those moments where you might be curled up on the couch with your baby next to a stack of laundry, or preparing a bottle in the kitchen with the sink stacked high. This is life and you’re doing it!
Even in the hardest moments, you’ll find yourself aching to hold them this small again. That’s why I do what I do—because these moments are so quick, and so worth remembering. Whether it’s a professional session or quick snapshots on your phone, take the pictures. Be in the pictures. I repeat, BE IN THE PICTURES! You’ll treasure them more than you can imagine. Everyone can tell you babies grow fast, but it’ll be faster than you can imagine. So seriously, snap a sleep-deprived selfie, capture those first giggles, and come see me for some beautiful family and newborn portraits!
You’re about to embark on something extraordinary. It will be exhausting, beautiful, frustrating, and full of joy—all at once. And you don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re looking for more tips, encouragement, or are ready to talk about capturing your baby’s first days, I’d love to connect. I’m here to help make the transition a little easier—and a lot more memorable.
